Monday, 24 September 2007 - One bold caterpillar

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for one bold caterpillar.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
~Richard Buckminster Fuller

I always notice butterflies, especially the ones that visit my gardens. But, I very rarely see caterpillars (although I've spotted cocoons in the scrub oak).

So, during prime visiting hours at Garden of the Gods, I was surprised to find one bold caterpillar out in the open. "Mr. Fuzzy" entertained us for a minute or so. He demonstrated his acrobatic skills by traversing a leggy scrub oak branch. Then, he wandered into the grassy area that bordered the paved trail. No time to stop and chat. Mr. Fuzzy was definitely on his way to somewhere.

Now, the caterpillar's appearance must be a sign (a good one, I hope) - a warning, perhaps, that I should not downplay my sensitivity to seasonal changes.

Summer becomes fall becomes winter.
Long shadows punctuate my days.
Morning late.
Evening early.
I pray as the harvest moon rises.

The spirit of transformation hovers over me like a vigilant guardian angel.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Sunday, 23 September 2007 - A sense of humor

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for a sense of humor.

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.
~Jean Houston

Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.
~Henry Ward Beecher

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ~William James

During this afternoon's visit with Tom, S and I noticed these changes in his behavior:

1. Time. He lives more and more in the present, following ongoing events and conversations. He also fixates on very specific future events like doctor consultations.
2. Social skills. He now greets and acknowledges other patients (not just the medical staff).
3. Personality. He displays a sense of humor.

The last item - Tom's reborn sense of humor - was a delight to experience. I'm smiling right now, recalling his funny (and appropriate) antics and witty retorts.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Photo: Red Rock Canyon - Quarry Wall - looking west from today's climbing route on the east wall

Saturday, 22 September 2007 - Leaves

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for leaves.

You shall ask
What good are dead leaves
And I will tell you
They nourish the sore earth.
You shall ask
What reason is there for winter
And I will tell you
To bring about new leaves.
You shall ask
Why are the leaves so green
And I will tell you
Because they are rich with life.
You shall ask
Why must summer end
And I will tell you
So that the leaves can die.
~Nancy Wood

During our afternoon hike, I see that the leaves are already changing. Is it truly that time of the year?

As I slowly turn the calendar page, I say good-bye to summer and reluctantly welcome autumn. According to the book of seasons, the leaves now have permission to exchange their practical summer greens for radiant and extravagant gold and crimson robes.

Yes, it's time to celebrate the harvest and prepare for winter.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Photo: Native sumac (relative of poison oak)

Friday, 21 September 2007 - Luigi

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for Luigi.

I hear his familiar voice on the answering machine: "Hello, this is Luigi from LBD ..."

Luigi calls me from the upscale New York City department store about two or three times a year (whenever his cosmetics line offers a special promotion). Late this morning, he calls and leaves a message. A few hours later, I return his call.

Luigi asks how I am doing and if I had a good summer. I learn that he vacationed in Italy this year. I ask him to describe any new items or colors and, given the products I already own, what he thinks I should add to my collection. Then, I place an order. This time, I need to replenish a few frequently-used products and want to buy the top item on my wish list.

I first "met" him over the phone about three years ago after I decided to use mineral makeup. After our initial conversation, he sent me lots of generous samples so I could choose the right colors for my face, cheeks, eyes and lips. Long story short ... thanks to Luigi, I am a loyal LBD customer.

I'm thinking about another visit to New York City. My trips are all pre-9/11. I think about sauntering along Fifth Avenue for a day of window shopping and museum hopping. I think about eating at an out-of-the-way deli and savoring an Italian ice purchased from a gregarious street vendor. I think about exploring Greenwich Village and searching the cool Bleeker Street shops for the perfect accessory - most likely a piece of artisan jewelry. And, I think about finally meeting Luigi and letting him use his talent and every trick he knows to make me look absolutely fabulous.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Thursday, 20 September 2007 - Summer memories

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for summer memories.

Summer ends.
Autumn begins.
A seamless transition.
Yet, each season is distinct and separate.

Our summer began on a down note ... Tom's freak bicycle accident on June 16 that resulted in a traumatic brain injury primarily to his left frontal lobe. His month-long coma and ensuing weeks in a local hospital dictated our evening schedule. Although Tom's now in Denver for rehabilitation, we still think and worry about him daily.

Our summer ends on more down notes ... George M's cancer diagnosis and grim prognosis (the cancer is widespread) and Daisy's death (expected but still difficult to accept).

As for the days and weeks in between ... merely life as I lived it. This year, however, I faced each summer day knowing that, despite my good health and optimism, I have no guarantee that I will live to see the summer of 2008.

Among other things, this summer ...

~ S and I rock climbed with enthusiasm and passion, but didn't attempt any route on the Wailing Wall (timing wasn't right).

~ We connected with people from our past - for S, a Peace Corps buddy whose son is a freshman at the Air Force Academy; for me, a few high school classmates.

~ I caught the sewing bug and made several items for my climbing and everyday wardrobe, found and bought a pair of perfectly fitting jeans and won second place in a national poetry contest.

~I began brewing my own kombucha tea and started this year's batch of my popular homemade organic vanilla extract.

~ For the 21st consecutive year, we did not attend the annual Labor Day hot air balloon event in Memorial Park.

~ My vegetable and herb garden comprised an experiment that yielded mixed results (note the bags of rich compost that I intend to work into the soil before winter). I'm not sure the watermelons will ripen before the first hard freeze or snowfall. The hot mariachi peppers did very well - I look forward to adding them to pots of spicy tortilla soup this winter.

~ My perennial gardens and shrubs grew wildly, creating a nectar-rich playground for the bees, butterflies and hummingbirds.

~ The six goji berry bushes thrived - can't wait until they finally produce berries - won't be for another 2-3 years, however - hope we still live here so I can celebrate the first harvest.

Adieu summer of 2007. Thanks for the memories.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Wednesday, 19 September 2007 - Daisy

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for Daisy.

In moments of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.
~W.H. Auden

You think dogs will not be in heaven?
I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

S and T ran into Ric and Audrey (the mastiff) this evening. Ric gave S the sad news: Daisy, one of Mark's dogs, had died.

Daisy, a golden Retriever, suffered from many maladies including cancer. She was only 10 (same age as T) but looked years older. I think she knew that she could not survive another cold and snowy Colorado winter. Not with severe arthritis. Not with the cancer.

I searched my archives for a photo of Daisy but couldn't find one.

So, imagine a perfect September morning. See the faithful and loyal golden retriever trudging along the dirt path adjacent to the culvert. Her reddish coat is soft and feathery; her face and muzzle, sporting a white beard. Her droopy, weary eyes brighten immediately when her dad calls her name.

She lingers near the overgrown field, inspecting a weed, sniffing a large rock. She walks at her own pace, unconcerned about the others who are many yards ahead of her now. The warm sun feels quite lovely this morning. The cool breeze carries a tantalizing scent - maybe a wild bunny or a pesky ground squirrel hiding in the scrub oak.

Despite her ailments, she insists on accompanying her dad and brother (a black Lab mix) for a lap or two around the park. Twice a day, in fact. Morning and dusk.

She pauses for a minute, as if to take it all in - the glorious sunshine, the cloudless blue sky, the nearby meadow and its bouquets of late summer wildflowers, the familiar sidewalk, the expanse of park lawn, the good sniffs, the cows grazing on the hillside, the saplings struggling to grow near the playground, the messy muddy spots near the softball field, her dad and brother enjoying the exercise ... one last time before the day fades for good, leaving only stars, moonlight and night sky.

Good-bye, Daisy.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007 - Reality check

Dear God:

Today I am thankful for a reality check.

Lead me to places of loneliness and pain.
May Your words shine in my mouth.
May I trust that the way You have made me is the way that is needed.

~Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

This prayer, especially the third line, really touched a raw nerve. So much so that I'm seriously evaluating my ongoing and quasi-fanatical self-improvement efforts.

I'm thinking that it's time to take a break from the ongoing search for myself.

Maybe the person I am this very minute is quite sufficient for this leg of my journey.

Maybe, I need to appreciate how far I've come given how scared and unprepared I was when I started the adventure.

And, maybe, just maybe, I am already sitting pretty, having reached an important destination. I just don't know it because I've haven't taken the time to explore and appreciate my surroundings. Imagine missing a milestone that's clearly marked in my book of days!

If all these "maybes" are true, then it's time for me to embrace my sufficiency, walk with greater confidence, speak with more authority, write more passionately, and trust that I am needed.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Monday, 17 September 2007 - Living strong

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for the honor of living strong for others.

Some days there won't be a song in your heart.
Sing anyway.
~Emory Austin

Earlier this year, I wrote about my diligence in wearing a yellow Lance Armstrong "livestrong" bracelet. I also cited the names of people for whom I am living strong.

Sadly, I must now add two more names to the list:

~Lisa Moore, breast cancer
I've followed Lisa's long, heartbreaking struggle with breast cancer in the comic strip, Funky Winkerbean. This month, she's finishing the last leg of her remarkable journey and coming to terms with death. Yes, she's only a comic strip character and I don't know her personally. But, she represents the reality of breast cancer and has unselfishly shared her story with faithful readers - that's why she's on my list.

~George M.
George is the local genius who invented a low-impact plyometric exercise machine. S and I are members of the team tasked with bringing the product to market. George called S this afternoon to deliver the bad news - after a 7-year remission, the cancer has returned. In fact, it has already metastasized. We are still in shock over the news ... I will write more about George later.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Sunday, 16 September 2007 - T's rapid recovery

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for T's rapid recovery from a throat/salivary gland infection.

For the past week, T has drooled excessively and rarely displayed his signature high energy behavior (i.e., he's been sleeping most of the time). We thought that the significant change in weather - from hot to cool - affected him more than in past years.

But, after, S felt a soft lump near T's throat, we decided that a trip to the "veg" (a.k.a. "the veterinarian") was necessary. After determining that T probably has an infected salivary gland, the veg prescribed antibiotic and anti-inflammatory drugs.

T thinks the pills are treats and swallows them without protest. And, after just a few rounds of medication, he is nearly back to normal. High fives all around!

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Saturday, 15 September 2007 - Golden days

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for golden days.

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese,
harsh and exciting -- over and over
announcing your place in the family of things.
~Mary Oliver

I'm officially half-way through year number 54. The past six months have been challenging, creative and insightful.

Now, what about the next six months?

As I begin the adventure, I'm ordering an extra helping of passion (my substitute for Emerson's enthusiasm) - will need it if I am to do or write something great.

I'm also super-sizing my imagination and restricting all judgment - important actions if I am to explore, understand and accept my place "in the family of things."

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Photo: Bee on sunflower - What luck! As I photographed the sunflowers growing on the south side of the house, a bee landed on this blossom. I only had time to take one picture before the bee flew away.

Friday, 14 September 2007 - One chocolate flower

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for one chocolate flower.

Each spring, I plant at least one chocolate plant (berlandiera lyrata).

According to the gardening experts:

This chocolate scented native wildflower blooms profusely all season with cheery, light yellow daisies; the sweetly fragrant blossoms really do smell like chocolate! Easily grown in a variety of soil types, this drought-tolerant species readily re-seeds itself, making it a desirable addition to any wildflower meadow or informal garden area. Zones 4-8. ~High Country Gardens catalog

The perfect perennial for my Colorado garden, one would think.

Unfortunately, the plant hasn't done very well in either the front or back yard. Until this year.

This morning, as I watered the north back yard garden, I noticed a single sunny yellow bloom rising above the leafy spray.

And, yes, the flower lives up to its billing - it has a heavenly chocolate scent.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Thursday, 13 September 2007 - A change of seasons

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for a change of seasons.

This is the way the rhythm moves. The fall of the year comes, then winter with its trees stripped of leaf and bud; cold winds ruthless in bitterness and sting. ~Howard Thurman

During September, summer blends seamlessly into fall. While I lament the short growing season and waning daylight, my gardens don't mind the transition.

For them, it's simply time to move from blooms to seed to sleep. An early snowfall - disastrous for the still maturing watermelons and fragile herbs, will be a welcome event for the hardy yarrow and sage plants. I really need to finish my late summer planting and mulching by this weekend.

Cool mornings and evenings punctuate a hot afternoon. T's energy level rises as the temperature falls. I start studying knitting patterns - time to begin knitting my new wool sweater. S and I wonder when the aspens will be ready for prime viewing. We anticipate local and distant climbing adventures.

In Colorado, autumn and winter happen, though not always in that order.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007 - Stones

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for stones.

There is life in a stone. Any stone that sits in a field or lies on a beach takes on the memory of that place. You can feel that stones have witnessed so many things.
~Andy Goldsworthy, NY Times, 5/16/04

I like stones, rocks and pebbles.
Even sand if you mean long, lonely stretches that greet the winter tide.
Stones as monuments, borders and cairns.
Cornerstones and gravestones, too.
Strong and earthy.
I feel their weight in my pocket.
I acknowledge their power as I remove one from my shoe.

When I worked for a Fortune 100 company, I placed five small polished stones on my desk. They sat in one neat row just below the computer monitor. A personal tribute to David's (of David and Goliath fame) five stones.

One morning, I noticed that only four stones sat on my desk. I looked everywhere for the missing one. I never found it. I like to think it had a noble destiny, like slaying a giant.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Tuesday, 11 September 2007 - Everyday heroes

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for everyday heroes.

The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor.
~Hubert H. Humphrey

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men. ~Herman Melville

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example. ~Benjamin Disraeli

9/11. Always a difficult morning because the memories are still fresh. Just six years ago. I will always remember where I was (at home) and what I was doing (getting ready for work).

The televised images of tragedy and horror, replayed again and again.

"Enough!" I finally exclaimed and escaped to work.

There, the story continued unabated. We gathered in the main conference room, watched the replays and turned away in disbelief. I reached out to colleagues, hugged close friends, shared a box of Kleenex. The CEO sent us home early.

The day's legacy?

For me, the knowledge that, when tragedy strikes, the golden rule will prevail. An ordinary someone will do something extraordinary for a stranger - lend a helping hand, soothe frazzled nerves, hug trembling shoulders, offer sips of cool water, whisper hopeful and encouraging words.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.