Friday, 14 September 2007 - One chocolate flower

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for one chocolate flower.

Each spring, I plant at least one chocolate plant (berlandiera lyrata).

According to the gardening experts:

This chocolate scented native wildflower blooms profusely all season with cheery, light yellow daisies; the sweetly fragrant blossoms really do smell like chocolate! Easily grown in a variety of soil types, this drought-tolerant species readily re-seeds itself, making it a desirable addition to any wildflower meadow or informal garden area. Zones 4-8. ~High Country Gardens catalog

The perfect perennial for my Colorado garden, one would think.

Unfortunately, the plant hasn't done very well in either the front or back yard. Until this year.

This morning, as I watered the north back yard garden, I noticed a single sunny yellow bloom rising above the leafy spray.

And, yes, the flower lives up to its billing - it has a heavenly chocolate scent.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Thursday, 13 September 2007 - A change of seasons

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for a change of seasons.

This is the way the rhythm moves. The fall of the year comes, then winter with its trees stripped of leaf and bud; cold winds ruthless in bitterness and sting. ~Howard Thurman

During September, summer blends seamlessly into fall. While I lament the short growing season and waning daylight, my gardens don't mind the transition.

For them, it's simply time to move from blooms to seed to sleep. An early snowfall - disastrous for the still maturing watermelons and fragile herbs, will be a welcome event for the hardy yarrow and sage plants. I really need to finish my late summer planting and mulching by this weekend.

Cool mornings and evenings punctuate a hot afternoon. T's energy level rises as the temperature falls. I start studying knitting patterns - time to begin knitting my new wool sweater. S and I wonder when the aspens will be ready for prime viewing. We anticipate local and distant climbing adventures.

In Colorado, autumn and winter happen, though not always in that order.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Wednesday, 12 September 2007 - Stones

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for stones.

There is life in a stone. Any stone that sits in a field or lies on a beach takes on the memory of that place. You can feel that stones have witnessed so many things.
~Andy Goldsworthy, NY Times, 5/16/04

I like stones, rocks and pebbles.
Even sand if you mean long, lonely stretches that greet the winter tide.
Stones as monuments, borders and cairns.
Cornerstones and gravestones, too.
Strong and earthy.
I feel their weight in my pocket.
I acknowledge their power as I remove one from my shoe.

When I worked for a Fortune 100 company, I placed five small polished stones on my desk. They sat in one neat row just below the computer monitor. A personal tribute to David's (of David and Goliath fame) five stones.

One morning, I noticed that only four stones sat on my desk. I looked everywhere for the missing one. I never found it. I like to think it had a noble destiny, like slaying a giant.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Tuesday, 11 September 2007 - Everyday heroes

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for everyday heroes.

The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor.
~Hubert H. Humphrey

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men. ~Herman Melville

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example. ~Benjamin Disraeli

9/11. Always a difficult morning because the memories are still fresh. Just six years ago. I will always remember where I was (at home) and what I was doing (getting ready for work).

The televised images of tragedy and horror, replayed again and again.

"Enough!" I finally exclaimed and escaped to work.

There, the story continued unabated. We gathered in the main conference room, watched the replays and turned away in disbelief. I reached out to colleagues, hugged close friends, shared a box of Kleenex. The CEO sent us home early.

The day's legacy?

For me, the knowledge that, when tragedy strikes, the golden rule will prevail. An ordinary someone will do something extraordinary for a stranger - lend a helping hand, soothe frazzled nerves, hug trembling shoulders, offer sips of cool water, whisper hopeful and encouraging words.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Monday, 10 September 2007 - Moments

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for moments.

I'm thinking about time today. In particular, how one moment can completely change a life.

Just ask our friend, Tom, who continues to recover from a severe traumatic brain injury. Or ask 25-year-old Buffalo Bills football player, Kevin Everett, who incurred a career-ending and still life-threatening cervical spine injury yesterday.

One moment or
A series of moments ...
Link them and I get my life.
Savor them and I get my story.
Count them and I find my truth.
Scatter them among the stars and I discover my destiny.

Just a moment, before I ...
In a moment, until I ...
For a moment, unless I ...
Whew! Not a moment too soon.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Sunday, 09 September 2007 - One thousand reasons to be grateful

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for one thousand reasons to be grateful.

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
~G. B. Stern

Two kinds of gratitude:
The sudden kind we feel for what we take;
the larger kind we feel for what we give.
~Edwin Arlington Robinson

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
~John Greenleaf Whittier

This is entry number 1,000 of My Grateful Journal (a sentence I never expected to write when I started this blog in December 2004). Today's milestone marks the end of my first 1,000 step journey in blogland (hurrah!).

Tomorrow, September 10, 2007, I'll take step one on a new intellectual and creative adventure, probably westward this time as I explore my complex Japanese-American heritage and identity. This is a topic I've wanted to study in depth for many years. The time feels right, and I am ready for the challenge.

As for My Grateful Journal ... well, it will continue although the format and flavor may change. As a writer, I still feel inspired to put fingers to keyboard every day and thank God for His blessings. I know He understands my heart whether I write a poem, an essay or one well-written sentence.

Finally, I am very grateful for you, the readers, whether you've perused one or one hundred entries. Every writer needs an audience, and I am delighted with mine.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Saturday, 08 September 2007 - Healing gifts

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for healing gifts.

The email arrived on Thursday morning. An invitation-only workshop on healing and deliverance lead by a woman from Idaho with an intriguing resume. I feel a pull on my heart. I need to attend. I check with S and T to make sure we have no scheduling conflicts if I'm gone all day. I email my RSVP. So much for Saturday's gardening and housekeeping chores.

This morning, I enter the workshop venue, a beautiful home in a wooded neighborhood about ten minutes northeast from where we live. I hope to learn something that I can use to help our friend, Tom.

Not the case. As it so often turns out, the workshop isn't about healing others - it's about my own healing and deliverance.

So, I set aside my expectations and receive the gifts of healing and deliverance with open arms. I embrace the peace and serenity that results from confession and repentance. I accept God's quiet confirmation that I was right all along about my pain and burdens.

My cup runneth over: I am alive. I am whole. I am healthy.

Forgiveness, compassion, grace, mercy, love. All there for the taking. All there for the asking.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Friday, 07 September 2007 - Blisters

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for blisters.

Blisters. On both heels. Incurred two weeks ago. I'm thankful not for the actual blisters (which belong to S, not me), but for lesson of blisters. In our case, patience.

It's a tough lesson for S, who has never before suffered from heel blisters (thank goodness he usually heals very quickly). It's a tough lesson for me, who reluctantly accepted the fact that S's blisters would limit my climbing exploits to bouldering or the short top ropes at the bouldering area. And, it's tough lesson for T, who will never understand why we did not visit Red Rock Canyon three times a week (no, T, it's not your fault).

Patience.
~~~Waiting for the fragile skin to heal completely before resuming rigorous athletic endeavors.
~~~Leaving the wounds alone so they can heal in peace and in their own time.
~~~Forcing S to rest from his favorite outdoor sports - they all require fancy footwork or tight shoes.
~~~Not giving in to the temptation of doing just a little climbing or a little cycling because the wound is nearly healed (remember that "almost only counts in horseshoes").

So, we stopped climbing for a few weeks, bringing an abrupt halt to our momentum. We hope to resume our favorite sport next weekend. To me, the hiatus will be worth every minute as long as the blisters heal completely. Anyway, autumn, with its dry, crisp air and delightfully warm afternoons, is our favorite climbing season.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Thursday, 06 September 2007 - Free mulch

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for free mulch.

September. Time for our annual mulch run.

I gather the equipment - shovel, gloves, 40-gallon trash bags. Then, S, T and I jump into the truck and head for the mulch distribution center in Black Forest.

Upon arrival, we give the gate attendant a bag of assorted canned goods, "payment" for the mulch. The attendant points to the towering mound of fresh pine mulch (must be at least 25 feet high) and directs S to the access road.

S drives slowly through the lot, passing enormous piles of slash (potential mulch). After he carefully positions the tailgate against the mound, we assume our positions on the truck bed and begin filling the trash bags. I hold open the bags while S shovels and fills. T, of course, supervises from his comfortable seat in the truck.

About a half hour later, we've filled a dozen bags. Enough mulch, I think, to protect my gardens through the fall and winter. I'll give any surplus to a neighbor.

We drive towards the freeway along a quiet two-lane road. The sun is bowing out for the evening in glorious fashion, painting the western sky with rich hues of hot pink, coral and mango. I smile, pleased about the generous supply of mulch, the sunset, the prospect of working in the garden this weekend.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Wednesday, 05 September 2007 - Morning ritual

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for our morning ritual.

Early morning.
A few minutes past sunrise.
The best part of the day.

T wakes me up by dabbing his very cold nose against my cheek. "That time already?"

I better get up, pronto. If I sleep for just a few more minutes, I'll miss the magic. Then, I'll regret the "miss" the rest of the day.

We leave the house. I'm slightly groggy while T is energetic and excited to navigate the very familiar route to the park.

The late summer sun rises lazily in the east while the waning moon fades from the western sky.

Several high school students gather near the street corner, awaiting the bus.

We arrive at the park where T and I meet and greet other morning regulars: people and their dogs circling the park, enjoying a few minutes of peace and quiet before the day's madness begins.

And the magic. Well, it's all of this. The sunrise, the students at the bus stop, the park regulars, the walk, the wet grass, the cool breeze, the solitary hot air balloon, the cows grazing along the ridge, the wild bunny munching on grass.

Our morning ritual.
We're expected, after all.
So, we arrive on time.
Just in time,
As it turns out
To whisper
Good morning, world.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Tuesday, 04 September 2007 - Gardening lessons

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for gardening lessons.

It is utterly forbidden to be half-hearted about gardening. You have got to love your garden whether you like it or not. ~W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman, Garden Rubbish, 1936

There is no gardening without humility. Nature is constantly sending even its oldest scholars to the bottom of the class for some egregious blunder. ~Alfred Austin

It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience. It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong? Maybe nothing. ~Eleanor Perényi, Green Thoughts, 1981

When our neighborhood gathers for a summer cookout, the conversation inevitably turns to gardening. Our front yard is still a hot topic - everyone remembers the weekend that I dug up the sod, replacing it with a thick layer of mulch and various xeric shrubs. At the time, my neighbors doubted my plans and sanity. Now, three years later, they compliment me on my garden's beauty and health.

Of course, my neighbors never witness my challenges and mistakes. They never hear my complaints about certain plants and aphid infestations. They never feel my anxiety about over-watering new additions or when to plant spring bulbs. My struggles are private ones.

To me, gardening failures cast an unfavorable light on the gardener. Success, of course, belongs solely to Mother Nature.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Monday, 03 September 2007 - Time off, time out

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for time off, time out.

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. ~Douglas Pagels

The power of work. I remember the 80+ hour work weeks and Sunday afternoons in the office ... the unhealthy belief that if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. So much for climbing the corporate ladder if, simultaneously, I can't exercise my right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Now, still on sabbatical from the corporate world, I am finally beginning to understand work and its place in my life.

Most importantly, I no longer tie my worth or identity to a corporate title. When someone asks me what I do, I could tell them that I'm a marketing communications consultant (boring!). Instead, I simply say that I'm a writer and poet (much more interesting).

On this Labor Day, as I redefine my career goals, I vow:

Never again to allow work to swallow me whole.
Never again to let self-imposed deadlines ruin a holiday or cancel a vacation.
Never again to surrender my life to work.
Never again to engage in work that's meaningless beyond the office walls.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Sunday, 02 September 2007 - Homecomings

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for homecomings.

T greets us enthusiastically when we return from our trip to Denver to visit Tom. He grabs old "squishy" ball with his mouth before racing around the backyard at full speed. S and I clap our hands enthusiastically as T deftly circles my gardens, negotiates tight corners, and bounds up the sloping yard like a canine Marcus Allen.

My thoughts, still unsettled after visiting Tom, swirl with concerns. Among other things, I replay Tom's continuing difficulty communicating with us verbally, his ongoing frustration with confinement and therapy, his anger at having to wear a seat belt when he uses the wheelchair, his very short attention span, his lack of self-awareness. My worries obscure the fact that he is improving, that during our weekly visits we see healing, progress and restoration. Still, Tom doesn't remember anything from our shared history and that bothers me.

But, I'm home now. And, it's T-time. I look into his big golden eyes and ask if he missed us. T's vigorous tail wags and slobbery kisses tell me that, despite the fact that he hates being home alone, he's forgiven us.

My parents are home. All is well. Treats abound. Life is good. It's time for a walk.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.

Saturday, 01 September 2007 - A sporting weekend

Dear God:

Today, I am thankful for a sporting weekend.

My husband is in 7th heaven this weekend. Sports, sports and more sports. Cycling, tennis and football.

+++La Vuelta a Espana - The year's final major European stage race. S and I watch it live on Internet television via cycling.tv. Despite the doping scandals, we remain staunch cycling fans.

+++The US Open Tennis Championship - S calls this tournament the "high holy days" of tennis. Even though we haven't played tennis since we left Austin, we remain loyal fans. Gotta love that Roger Federer.

+++The World Track and Field Championships (in Kyoto, Japan) - Another sports event that we can't ignore. Hometown favorite, Adam Goucher, will be in Sunday's 5,000 meter final (I knew his mother way back when).

+++College football - We're pro-UCLA, of course, and follow the PAC-10 closely. My UCLA ties have strengthened now that my niece attends my alma mater as a third generation Bruin. The Air Force Academy is our local Colorado team. We are not CU fans.

+++Pro football - S and many of our friends are Oakland Raider fans. I usually just go along for the ride, although I do love the team colors (silver and black) and slogan ("commitment to excellence"). You won't catch me cheering for the Denver Broncos, ever. S is more accommodating. He'll watch any game regardless of the teams - just hopes for a well-played, competitive contest.

+++High school football - We are Coronado High School fans. Our next-door neighbor, Everett, and his friends start on the varsity team. The local and Denver newspapers identified Everett as a player to watch and one of the best at his position (RB, LB). S, who has followed and supported Everett's athletic career for many years, will attend most of the games, sitting and cheering with the players' parents.

+++Rock climbing - S and I will continue to climb in Red Rock Canyon through fall and winter as long as it's at least 45 degrees, dry and sunny. My 2007 goal remains unmet - to climb the 5.10a route on the Wailing Wall.

... All of this before baseball and the boys of summer end their long, drawn out season. Sorry, Rockies. Once football season begins, we won't watch another baseball game until the World Series.

For this blessing, I am grateful.

Amen.